Sonic's Best Pal is the ninth track from Starbomb's self-titled debut album. It is themed after Sega's Sonic the Hedgehog franchise. It features Danny as the narrator and Sonic, and Arin as Tails.

Lyric Content Edit

The narrator asks kids if they'd like to hear a story about Sonic and Tails. The idea is received harshly ("Eat a dick!"), but he decides to go on with it anyway. He describes the everyday life of Sonic to save the world whenever it needed saving from Robotnik. He describes Tail as "shitty and small, and (having) low self esteem." To fix this, Tails smuggles sells all the Chaos Emeralds to get PCP. When Sonic asks if Tails wants to play, Tails goes ballistic from the effects of the drug, yelling out his desires to go on a killing spree and boasting about his drug-induced hallucinations. Sonic tries to calm him down by doing innocent playtime activities, but Tails only seems interested in "WHORES!" While Sonic plays lacrosse with Blaze, Tails has sex with prostitutes, before Robotnik shows up. Sonic declares that he will defeat Robotnik like he always does, but Tails states that he has a "better solution," and shoots Robotnik in the head, killing him. He brags about his deed and his newfound evil, and yells out to start a "giant forest fuck fest." Sonic becomes traumatized from these events, and Tails continues his killing spree by murdering Big the Cat. The narrator thinks that this has gone to far and expresses intent to call the cops on Tails, before Tails shoots the narrator to death.

Trivia Edit

  • A promotional video of the members of Starbomb recording this song in studio was released on the Ninja Sex Party YouTube channel on December 16th, 2013 to hype the last day before the album release.
  • This is the only Starbomb song off the first album to feature two different styles of music. The verses reflect a light-hearted synth beat reflective of the music from the original Genesis Sonic games, while the choruses are heavy metal.
  • The outro has been interpreted as the cops catching Tails and killing him on sight, as the "Oh fuck!" at the end is a high pitched scream that sounds like it could either be Danny or Arin yelling. However, the previous lyrics indicate that the narrator has not yet called the cops on Tails, leading to the conclusion that it was Tails that shot the narrator.
    • Additionally, the official CD booklet from the physical CD credits the narrator with this line. For more information, click here.

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